Today we’re getting a little more blunt & abrasive than usual, and for good reason. You’ve been stuck, bored, afraid, and unsure for long enough, damn it! It’s time to start making a change, having an impact, and enjoying your actual life.
As a woman who grew up with all of that, and as someone who has experienced multiple miscarriages, rape, ex-step parents who continue to cause pain in my family, who continues to love addict family members…
And as a woman who has forgiven them all
and, more importantly, as a woman who has forgiven myself,
I’m sharing what forgiveness looks like in my world.
It’s actually super simple! It’s an easy way to embrace the moment and unlock the prison fear has created in your mind.
Here’s what I wish I’d known before I tortured myself at the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey. I didn’t understand the value of community or what it really looks like to build and have an online community of my own. Save yourself the heartache (and the headache) with this insight.
For some crazy reason, we like to keep ourselves busy with an abundance of little problems and challenges. Sometimes, if things are working out in our favor too much, our doubts and our ego step in to create some new friction in life to keep us from getting too comfortable.
This is such an amazing topic for the autumn season, because autumn itself is a perfect representation of abundance and grief creating something incredible. The changing and falling of the leaves, the abundance of those final fall harvests, joggers out soaking in the final days of pre-winter weather, the loss of summer, but the beginning of all things cozy…
I want to share my top traffic driving tip with you guys today! This is the first thing I share with my business and blog coaching clients- and I’m giving it away for free today because honestly it is SO easy to do, and it’s information everyone should have access to.
(Attainable Goals) For me, this means not setting lifestyle-change goals and expecting to quit something I love cold turkey and take on a challenging new habit 100% from day 1. The way I balance challenging myself and staying inspired, while also not setting myself up for failure is by having TWO goals. I have my main goal, and then I set a stretch goal.
Have you ever trusted your gut, only to find out later you were completely wrong? It’s hard to come back from that feeling of betrayal and embarrassment when you relied on your intuition and it seemed to fail… but it’s not impossible…
Anyway, Rewilding is relearning what it means to be a woman.
To be the woman you have always been, despite any misleading messages from the society we grew up in or from our own minds as the result of pain throughout our lives.
I bring my goals to reality and realize my dreams and make incredible friends all by just doing what my instincts tell me to do AND I keep my followers in the loop and consistently share content that is high-vibe, super aligned with my message and the woman I want to be in life, and I get to also just rest easy knowing that I am being exactly who I am and not adding unfair pressure to myself.
I am a firm believer that we are all one in that we each have a core state of being that is nothing but pure love and expansiveness.
The real struggle is peeling away the layers to let your true expansive self shine through.
Generally, a life coach is someone who helps you create and work toward specific life goals by teaching you new perspectives and techniques, helping you work through subconscious blocks on the road to success, and someone who helps hold you accountable for following through.
One of my favorite things about fall is what a perfect time it is for self-care. If you keep busy in the summer and fall, preparing for the shock of being indoors more throughout the winter sometimes needs to include reconnecting with yourself.
Those inner voices get louder when we feel isolated and as someone who experiences seasonal depression, I know all too well how brutally isolating the frozen months can be!
Whether the majority of our days tend to be mediocre and unexciting or generally a little gloomy… or whether you find a hint of a smile and a subtle skip in your step on a daily basis is learned!
Sometimes fear shows up in disguise as self-sabotage, procrastination, laziness, unexplained exhaustion, or perfectionism… This tip will help you work through and overcome fear in any form.
Absolutely everything could be in our favor in life, and we could still be miserable by choice… and absolutely everything could be working against us in life, and we could still be joyful by choice.
So what is the truth?
Read about my eBook journey and learn how to write and publish your own eBook in under 30 days. Recommendations based on what I’ve tried and tips on what I’ve learned since creating my first eBook.
So you’re feeling stuck? I know the struggle… I want to teach you about extrapolating a decision today. This is something I do all. the. time. when I can’t choose between two options and I feel like there are overwhelming downsides to every option (or they are both freakin’ awesome and I don’t know which is better).
This is a short, simple exercise you can do any time you’re feeling stuck and torn between two choices. My first answer to these situations is always to check in with your intuition, which you can read more about in this post.
If tapping into your intuition isn’t bringing up any answers, though, extrapolating your decision is an awesome way to see what the underlying hesitation is and identify what you really want. This also helps you to see other options that you don’t always notice in the stress of the moment.
What is extrapolating a decision?
Extrapolating a decision is estimating what it would look like if you continued to make the same decision over and over through time.
Essentially, you’re going to imagine what your life would look like in five years if you continued making the same type of decision over and over. You pick one of the options you’re torn between, and let it play out in your mind and then imagine the next time you might be faced with a similar choice, you choose the same option.
Does that make sense?
Let me clarify with an example.
Say you’re torn between going out on a date last minute with someone you’ve been into forEVER, or going out for coffee with a friend you made plans with earlier in the week. You two hang out all the time, but you also know she’s had a kinda rough week…
So what are you going to do?
Well, imagine you choose the date. You let your friend know, you do your best to make it right and ask to move your coffee date to a Saturday brunch with her instead, or a wine night in the following day. She’s disappointed, but she gets it and you get to do both.
Now… Imagine your date goes really well, but you wait quite a while to get in touch after the date. It’s been a week or two, you have plans to work on a project due on Sunday. Your date reaches out to you Thursday to go on a date Friday… and your weekend is going to be packed… Now what will you choose? If you were sticking with the type of decision you made the first time around, you’d have to put your own life aside to make time for this date.
So, that’s the trend you’re starting.
(Hint: this is an awesome tool for setting boundaries and realizing that your boundaries are perfectly reasonable!! Because if you don’t set the boundary that this person can’t just expect you to drop everything, you risk putting your entire life off to the side for this one person. If you wouldn’t be okay with it ever again, why allow it the first time around? If the opportunity can’t wait a couple days for you or give you some notice, then maybe it’s not a quality opportunity you need in your life.)
Then, look at the other side.
Say you choose to stick to your plans with your friend. You respond that you already have plans, but that you’d love to grab coffee or dinner together the next day.
Your date has a choice now. And if they say no and lose interest, you know they weren’t worth sacrificing your time with a good friend over. If they say yes, then you can rest easy knowing you’ve already started to establish healthy boundaries and respected your own time and priorities while still getting what you wanted.
Now you can check in and ask yourself which of those future scenarios you are happier with, and make your decision accordingly.
You can do this with all sorts of situations and it really makes the process so much easier. In the moment, you wouldn’t have even been thinking about boundaries, but when you stepped back to play out your options and choose with your future self in mind, you saw a whole new perspective.
Give it a go, and if you’re feelings stuck, reach out to me! This is exactly the sort of thing I work through with my 1:1 clients.
Jessica Pena | Lifestyle + Blog Coach
I haven’t always been confident, and I didn’t even really notice that I’d gotten more confident until this kind lady pointed it out. In the past three years, my confidence has exploded. I’m sure some of it just has to do with life experience, but I can think of a few things I’ve done or realized that probably had a lot to do with the sudden change. Let me tell you about it.