Are the people who love you holding you back?
As humans, we naturally long to belong and feel safe and loved from the day we are born… but is it possible that in receiving that love, we actually end up staying small in life?
I don’t believe the people who love us most in the world hold us back intentionally, but I think sometimes the subconscious fear of losing that loving support causes us to play it small in life.
We want to be liked. We need it. We need to feel loved, and our diligent ego is here to protect us from the kind of pain that comes with rejection and loneliness…
So it only makes sense that we play it small for the sake of keeping the support and approval of those close to us. This is something most people experience, and you’re not alone in it. Desiring love and acceptance from our crew isn’t necessarily a weakness or something to be ashamed of. Instead, I want to invite you to try this new perspective on and see if it works for you.
Imagine that the people who have loved and supported you all your life are actually holding you back, but it’s an accident.
Like your ego, they want you to stay safe and not stand out too awful much- they want to protect you from rejection and loneliness in life. …can you see how their intentions, while seemingly coming from a space of love, actually harm you? They bring you doubt and insecurity, rather than the expansive joy and curiosity that really empowers you to thrive in life!
But they don’t mean to… and you don’t want to keep living in a limited space… but you don’t want to burn bridges to important relationships either…
So what can you do when the people who love you are holding you back?
If you’ve been around for a while, you’re not going to be surprised by my solution here:
Forgive them & Forgive yourself.
Forgive those who love you for wanting you to stay small. Forgive them for trying to protect you. When you’re ready, find it in your heart to thank them for it, even if you never say it out loud. Then, forgive yourself for swallowing those limiting beliefs and holding back for so long. Forgive yourself for wanting to be liked so much that it crushed some of your genuine amazingness. It happens to us all. Embrace the way they’ve tried to love you, thank your sweet ego for working so hard to protect you all this time, and then go ahead and shake off the limits that came with it all.
Can you do that?
Once you’ve found the path to forgiveness and releasing the beliefs loved ones pushed upon you, you’re open to an entirely new experience in this beautiful world.
The next step? Re-imagine yourself.
What do you truly want in life? Too big of a question? Then break it down. What do you love to do? What do you attract in your life so naturally that you forget to even think of it as a talent? What’s something you want to do, that might bring forward some disapproval from your team of limiting loved ones? What might happen if you do it?
And finally… Take a look in the mirror.
where in life are YOU being the limiting loved one?
Especially in codependent relationships or spaces where we’ve had to protect one another, such as siblings who grew up in abusive situation, we can limit those we’ve protected in the past without even meaning to do it! We encourage them, but with a hint of ehhhhh, like “yes go for it,” but “be careful” is delicately implied).
Look at your relationships and interactions with the sweetest humans in your life. Is there anything you’ve been sending out that is restrictive and limiting? Is there a new way you want to show up for the people you find yourself surrounded with in life?
If we’re going to be the change we wish to see in the world, it needs to start in our own hearts and minds before it can ripple into our family and the community we serve.
I’m sharing this as a step toward rising
into my own power as an adult.
I’ve been through so much, and I’ve experienced so much healing and growth in the past few years. These past couple months have been a new tune of learning who I am, though, which is quite a different tone from the gentle healing I’ve been living in. It’s a wild ride, and I’m loving every minute of getting to know the powerful, loving, kind, intelligent, playful woman that is ME.
If you’re on a journey of healing and improving yourself, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. This journey takes a hell of a lot of courage, strength, and discipline. It takes resilience and so much loving kindness, whether you feel like a strong and kind person or not. I know so much of the time in my own journey I felt like I was mean, cruel, too harsh, unkind, and so many other things. These thoughts are something we all go through- and I promise you they are LIES. You are doing so well, you got this. I’m so proud of you. Don’t give in. <3
Thank you for reading, for healing yourself and as a result,
helping to heal the hurt in this big huge world. You’re a gift. You are love. You are enough.