#metoo | One Woman's Thoughts on Feminism, Rape, and Bras.

Note: Unlike our usual content, this post is a bit explicit. If you have tiny humans peeping over your shoulder, you may want to come back later.

Feminism#metoo& Bras.jpg

Who else saw American Horror Story Season 7 recently?

Was it too real for anyone else??? I lowkey regret watching it at all; it reignited all sorts of fires I was trying not to think about in the world today. I’m not an angry person, but whew.

I’ve realized recently that I am very capable of feeling anger (it was actually pretty powerful, unleashing the beast. Take a look). And it’s interesting how that translates as a woman.

At first I resisted it SO HARD. “Don’t be a feminazi,” some rotten little voice in my head would mutter when I’d start to let my anger out. And back into the box it would go- because I wouldn’t want to be a bitch. or a feminazi. or a psychopath. or something. Right?

Well… I put a little more thought into it and came up with this message:

FUCK that. That’s all I have to say about it anymore. Fuck not feeling my own anger for fear of what they’ll call me or fear of how I’ll be perceived. I’m done worrying about that.

Honestly, as a woman there are so many rules. Nobody can please everyone, and as a women that is especially true. If you wear makeup, you’re vain. If you don’t, you’re lazy. If you spend hundreds on clothing each month you’re shallow, if you search thrift stores and discounts for those same clothes, you’re cheap. If you don’t bother with fancy clothes, you’re white trash (or not white trash, I suppose. This is my experience though and I am very much a lil white girl). If you’re intelligent and thoughtful, you’re a bossy bitch. If you’re playful or silent, and especially if you’re beautiful, you’re just another bimbo.

So here’s the thing.

Our society IS aggressive toward women. There’s no way around that. Even women are aggressive toward women (in fact, sometimes we are more critical of ourselves and other women than men are)!

I’m not here to point fingers, I’m not here to say that men are evil, bad, wrong, whatever. I’m saying I see something very wrong with the way that we as a society treat the female and feminine.

I’m saying it’s disgusting that it’s more appropriate for me to talk about how I was raped than to talk about my period or miscarriages. It’s disgusting that it’s more appropriate for a man to rape a woman and apologize than to wear a dress and some makeup with pride any time he feels like it.

I’m saying it’s outrageous that my breasts are illegal… That it speaks to my professionalism, my capability in society, my value as a person whether I wear an underwire and layer of padding between my breasts and my shirt on a daily basis. Why? You think men’s nips never show through their shirts? No, they do. It’s just not. a. big. fucking. deal. That’s it.

It’s disgusting that to allow my body to be the way that it naturally is will be perceived as a sexual act, an invitation to harassment and snide remarks, catcalls, and blatant staring at my chest.

Why is it that men are allowed to be hairy, but that when a woman, who is by definition female, allows her natural body hair to grow out, she is suddenly no longer “feminine.” By definition the feminine is the feature of the female, and if the female has body hair, then why is it that in order to be a feminine woman (which, by the way, subconsciously translates to a “good woman” in many minds), the naturally occurring body hair must be removed?

I’m not saying women shouldn’t shave or wear makeup or bras. If they want to. I’m saying it should be a choice! It should be a decision each woman is allowed to make without having to fear social exile, the loss of career opportunities and the ruin of her image as a capable member of society. I’m saying it’s outrageous that we live in a society that wonders what is wrong with boys and men who choose to dress up or wear makeup, while also attacking women who fail to do so.

It is 2018. This needs to end. Now. It’s time to recognize that the value of a person and goes beyond their appearance and the cosmetic decisions they make. Let’s look at everyone based on the kindness they do, the value they bring to society, their merit, their values… not at their breasts or their clothing or the paint on their faces.

Let’s put an end to a society that sexualizes 12 year old girls, asks beautiful 6 year old boys in dresses if they need a daddy in their life to make it all better, tells any woman over 29 that she’s suddenly an old hag who needs to aspire to YOUTH instead of to AGE.

See, I’m pissed at society. I’m PISSED at the system in place. But I also know that I AM the system. WE ARE SOCIETY. So. Speak the fuck up.

Make it known that you will no longer stand for this. Get your #metoo out there, let them know that you are DONE seeing that goddamn hashtag thrown around like confetti with fresh wounds every day! Let’s get the #metoo’s safe, empowered, out of the dark and into the public light.

So that next year, there will be less of them! And less every year. Because nobody should ever have to come out with another Me Too story again!

Let’s share our truth as women. Our bodies are not inherently sexual, our breasts are not illegal. Our natural body processes are not shameful.

We are not feminazi’s, psychopaths, bitches, or whores. We are women who woke up- and we are DONE with your bullshit. We stand together. We call it as we see it and we take action to make a damn change.

And if that makes you uncomfortable…

Well, we actually aren’t sorry. Deal with it, because rape makes us uncomfortable. Sexual harassment makes us uncomfortable. Bras make us uncomfortable. Breastfeeding in bathroom stalls makes us uncomfortable.

So kindly take your discomfort around the conversation and get the hell out of our way. We’re here to make a change and you don’t get to silence us anymore for the sake of your own comfort.

So here I am. I’m a woman and I’m fucking proud of it. I was raped, and I healed, and I am ANGRY that this keeps happening to my sisters.

I am ANGRY that every day, every show, every conversation involving men, every movie, every ad sexualizes women, brings up the eons of abuse toward women “for the sake of historical accuracy.”

BULLSHIT. You bring it up because it is relatable, because it reminds men of their power and women of their place.

And my response to that is this: fuck your historical accuracy. That’s not it and here’s how we know: characters of every ethnic background are CONSTANTLY played by white people, or by the most pale brown-skinned person they can find. History is incessantly whitewashed in the media. So let’s stop using that as our excuse.

Fuck historical accuracy around the mistreatment of women when historical accuracy in every other category comes second to presentation of the white man’s supposed power and righteousness.

Look, I’m not anti man. But I AM anti- white-men-still-running-the-show. I’m anti-preserve-the-white-man’s-ego at all costs.

It’s time to tell the truth. Show the truth. Even if it means ripping that white man’s ego to shreds, the truth needs to be told.

Show the whole truth. Not just vikings and knights raping women left and right, not just rich men working themselves into the ground while ridiculing the feminine and declaring feelings and love as weaknesses because he doesn’t have the strength and courage it takes to actually show what it means to be human.

It’s NOT okay anymore.

Stop creating content that normalizes the mistreatment of women.

And if you want to stop seeing it, STOP watching it. Stop supporting it.

We are the consumers, we are society. We are the system.

So the change starts with US. We do have the power. Watch where you put your money. Watch who you give your time and thoughts.

Start making the change by speaking up and by having a no tolerance policy for the lies that you are fed up with!

What are you doing to put an end to the war against women and the true feminine? Is there a rant boiling up in you? What would happen if you let that OUT?

Shall we find out?

I vote yes.

-Jessica Peña

P.S. Want more on this? Check out this powerful post