Today I’m sharing my top tip for overcoming fear- this is especially useful for finding a way to make a decision when you’ve been in a frozen state of fear over the future!
It’s actually super simple! It’s an easy way to embrace the moment and unlock the prison fear has created in your mind.
That said, it’s as difficult as it is easy, because it’s an enjoyable activity but you have to convince yourself to do it at times that don’t feel like you should be out enjoying yourself… times when you’re more tempted to worry and pace back and forth.
Here it is:
When fear has you paralyzed and you can’t seem to make a decision, you need to have some FUN!
Seriously, go do something that makes you smile. It’s important to let go of what is going on, no matter how pressing or overwhelming it may feel. Realize that what is choking you in this moment is not going to oppress you in this way forever. One day, this will be a vague memory.
It’s important to also realize that worrying in the moment does about as much good as asking a lady bug to make all your dreams come true for you.
In other words, that worry is useless.
You’re not improving your life, someone else’s life, or your situation by worrying. Think about why you are really worrying… is it because you feel bad for something, or because you know what you want and you feel guilty about the impact your desire being fulfilled might have on someone else?
Look, feeling worried doesn’t make up for anything. Literally, nothing.
Feeling worried or guilty or sitting frozen and torturing yourself… it really doesn’t do anything for anyone. It’s not a way to do some sort of twisted penance for a mistake or to make up for something, and it’s certainly not a way to earn a piece of happiness.
That’s a limiting belief I struggled with for a long time! I had this feeling I couldn’t have extended and awesome joyful experiences unless I “paid” for them by suffering more at some other point. I subconsciously believed that if I tortured myself for a while before going for something I really wanted in life (like by worrying incessantly and not allowing myself to have any fun at all), then the world would suddenly be obligated to give me what I wanted for a moment.
Secret: That’s NOT how it works!
You don’t have to pay for joy. You can already feel happy and joyful and excited, no matter what you want or what you’ve done or who you’ve hurt, or what you might be being blamed for.
And that’s the trick to getting yourself unstuck!!
Even before you identify the deeper reason you’re feeling unhappy- even if you don’t know if you’re subconsciously forcing yourself to pay for happiness with a short period of misery, or if you don’t know why you may be feeling guilty, or even if you don’t know what it is that is overwhelming you and keeping you stuck at the moment, you can take this simple action!
So, go do something fun!
Do something that totally absorbs you, that sucks you in. If this is something you struggle with, do five fun things! Challenge yourself in this beautiful way and let yourself get to know some of the little things you appreciate most about life.
For me, usually the overwhelming thing keeping me “stuck” from the outside is money. So, when I want to work through fears of not having enough money, I choose something free or cheap to go do- BUT I don’t let the price reduce the amount of fun! I realize that there are SO MANY free things I absolutely adore doing in life, and they don’t take a ton of time, so I can’t say I don’t have the time to do them either.
(And another thing, you have just as much time in the day as everyone else on this planet. What you spend your time on is a matter of priorities. While I’m not saying some people aren’t in much more fortunate circumstances than others, I am saying that anyone who has the time to read this blog post absolutely has the time to squeeze in a pinch of fun for themselves. You do have a choice, so start making it consciously instead of letting the world shove you around, babe. You got this!)
Here are a couple ideas to get you started:
Go swimming (bonus points if you can find a local lake or hot spring to go to, this is what fuels my soul and it’s free in quite a few places near me!)
Give your pet 20 minutes of your complete and undivided attention (hello, belly rubs for the kitty!)
Comb your hair and run a deep conditioner or some coconut oil through those pretty locks
Read the first chapter of your favorite book
Watch your favorite scene of your favorite movie
Light a candle and sit with it in silence (or with your favorite music) for 5 minutes
I like to do this in the bathroom with the light off when I really want a moment to myself! #roommatelife
Go for a walk in the park and try to spot the fattest squirrel
Plan your dream vacation- go all out, picking dates and places to stay, search AirBnBs, beaches or campsites nearby, restaurants and local shops and coffeehouses you’d like to visit
(Funny story, I did this and I “accidentally” WENT on the trip I planned, turns out I wasn’t as broke as I thought! But I love this activity just as much when I don’t actually go too. It’s fun to plan a new place in the world for yourself!)
Go on a minimalist camping trip (or glamping if you have the budget and desire? No judgment here!)
Have brunch with your grandpa
Hopefully these ideas are enough to get you started, but it’s not an exhaustive list by any means! You might be someone who likes to go for runs or bike rides, who loves a bowl of ice cream (you could probably muster up the funds for this from the floorboards of your car and the cushions of your couch, and that ever-growing pile of pennies in your junk drawer, get crafty if you need to!). The point is to have FUN. Just do something you can get lost in.
I can’t tell you how impactful this simple exercise is, but you can find out for yourself! Give it a shot, and make a plan to help yourself be able to choose to go have a quick bit of fun the next time you’re feeling stressed.
Remember, it’s natural for it to be difficult to actually go DO something fun when you’re feeling stuck in life…
but that’s exactly what makes this so transformational for your mindset. That’s exactly how this exercise frees you from the prison of overwhelm. So seriously, just go do it! And get a plan in place to make it easier to make this choice next time too.
You got this! As always, if you’re struggling you are so welcome to reach out to me and talk this one out! Share in the comments below or shoot me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will get back to you personally.
Have the best day!
Jessica Pena | Lifestyle + Blog Coach