Raped, Not Ruined | I'm writing a book
I moved to the edge of the world to write my books, and that’s what I’m doing.
Crystal Belle has been in the works for two years now and she’s almost ready for you… but the book you’re going to see next is something entirely different. It’s a look inside the night I was raped and the roller coaster of healing to follow. Since it’s tentatively scheduled to release in December of 2019, I thought you might like to know a little more about it!
Raped, Not Ruined is a book I shouldn’t have had to write.
It’s a book about healing from rape and it’s full of the raw emotions that come through the experience. There’s raging fury, devastation, hope, crushing exhaustion and deep depressions. Self-loathing. Forgiveness. Peace. Shattering and opening up over and over.
I’m sharing parts of my rape story I didn’t tell anyone about. I’m sharing the worst part, the part that made me feel the most ashamed and worthless- and it’s not what you think. But the most tragic part of it all? It was how very many women I know personally reached out to me to share their secret rape story. #themtoo
I don’t know if I’m more angry or broken at how very many women I know who have been raped.
It’s disgusting that we live in a world where periods are seen as more disgusting than rape.
..Where being raped is a shameful thing the woman must keep secret from family, while the man who hurts her walks around like he owns the whole planet.
This book doesn’t dwell in the anger too much, but it’s there. It’s real and it needs to be seen, felt, heard, and spoken. Because this phenomenon is an outrage. The fact that people just take from women- the fact that living on the edge of the world, the scariest thing I face is being a small woman living all alone- never knowing who might be watching with the intent to hurt me again. It’s a tragedy that every adventure many women ever go on is clouded by fear and the need to be careful and consider what evil men might be around, waiting for the opportunity. Raped, Not Ruined explores this, lightly.
But more important than the anger and the pain, this book is about the healing.
It’s about how I picked my shattered self back up. How I let the support in, how I coped when I didn’t want help- when I didn’t know how to answer the question, “are you okay?” or “how are you doing?”
It’s about how I came back to my body. How I coped with the following pregnancy and then the miscarriage. It’s how I survived the waves and weeks and months it took to put myself back together- and it’s about how I came to forgive the men who hurt me. How I learned to open up and share, and what it took to finally understand what I needed from those who wanted to help me in my healing.
This book is about love, forgiveness, and healing after sexual assault.
But it’s about owning the truth, too.
It’s a brave book, and it’s going to take a brave person to read it cover-to-cover.
It’s been a difficult story to tell, and even more painful to dive into by myself here on the coast. But I know this work is important to others. My story demands to be told, and I’m honored that you’ve decided to be here through the telling of it. Raped, Not Ruined will be available soon wherever books are sold online.
With so much love,